Loss, Hope & Impermanence


I lost hope. Hope for something grand, beautiful, and meaningful. When I have become lost, I lose hope, and I am unable to feel love and connection. I become  disconnected from everyone and everything around me.  When my hope is gone the only thing that seems to grow brilliantly is the pain before me in the dark chasm of my wounded soul. From this place of despair and woundedness, I allowed myself to reside. These are the moments when I search deeply within; to find something – anything to hold onto. I grasp for faith, a glimmer of love, or  that small lasting measure of what is good. Battling in this darkness draws me ever deeper,  into the locked space within my soul.

There is no ray of light into this chasm, and it feels as if in these moments, that nothing can save me. This darkness brings coldness, loneliness and despair. But somewhere within this deep empty space I know that there is great wisdom, and it is found in this dark stillness. In this moment I allow myself to look into the pain and despair, I choose to venture further down- deeper into the chasm.  I give myself room to breathe, to be still,  and to sit within the darkness; willing the peace and comfort to show itself. In this darkness my demons and dragons are unleashed; revealing my biggest fears.  Failure and loss in all of its form consumes me, and I allow that essence in; to overtake me. I feel it, sense it. churn it, move it around and through me. It is cold, dark, heavy. I allow its presence to become fully alive so that I may understand its offering, its wisdom. I do so knowing that my only way  forward is through this darkness; and so I accept and surrender this path, this moment.

Loss has found me in so many ways in my life, and I have become a champion at moving through it. This time it feels different; deeper, primal, as if the core of my existence as a conscious being of light is being extinguished. The loss of life’s purpose manifest seems to hurt  more deeply than all the other losses. Contemplating this deep and ancient wound, the darkness within my soul feels heavy and burdened, unable to comprehend.  After being deep within this darkness for a time that feels unbearable, a  Buddhist  lesson comes to mind and heart; reminding me of the power held within change and suffering.

The lesson of  impermanence, teaching and reminding me that nothing remains the same. From moment to moment everything changes; leaving each consecutive moment something different, something transformed. The wisdom comes through; Thich Nhat Hahn’s lecture of impermanence reminds me that impermanence makes everything possible. He stated:

“When we bathe in the river today that we bathed in yesterday, is it the same river? Heraclitus said that we couldn’t step into the same river twice. He was right. The water in the river today is completely different from the water we bathed in yesterday. Yet it is the same river. When Confucius was standing on the bank of a river watching it flow by he said, “Oh, it flows like that day and night, never ending.  The insight of impermanence helps us to go beyond all concepts. It helps us to go beyond same and different, and coming and going. It helps us to see that the river is not the same river but is also not different either”.

Thich Nhat Hahn reminds us that life itself is possible through impermanence; that the corn of stalk cannot become so without the grain of corn being impermanent. That a woman cannot become a woman, and children and grandchildren would not manifest, without impermanence.

Our difficulty in our suffering is that we forget this lesson; that everything is impermanent.  At some point in our lives we will lose things; we will lose our possessions, our friends, our family; our dreams, and maybe even our purpose.  But we are reminded that without an awakened understanding of impermanence, it is not possible to be happy.  “Emptiness does not mean non-being and does not mean being either. It transcends all concepts. If you touch deeply the nature of impermanence, no self and inter-being, you touch the ultimate dimension, the nature of nirvana. Our freedom, peace and joy in the present moment is the most important thing we have” (Thich Nhat Hahn).

Within my chasm of darkness, I am reminded again, that moment to moment everything transforms. While I may not see the distant view of the beauty of my own transformation; I am reminded to welcome, honour, and love each moment within this journey of my life. For I am not the same as I was the moment before.

Within the deep chasm of my soul, a ray of light glimmers again.

Announcing “Reveal The Magic In Your Life”- An Online Workshop & Community


We are so excited to announce our new online program coming soon titled: “Reveal The Magic In Your Life”.

This online program was designed to deeply explore living fully in loving consciousness. Through this program you will tangibly experience the magic the universe has to offer you, while also learning to fully express and create You, and Your highest potential. If you have been searching for a fun, gentle, loving, consciously driven method to reach even greater potential; then you have found it!

This course is designed to be flexible and affordable; allowing you the opportunity to do it at your own pace, or to participate live each week in our interactive, supportive community. The course is led by Dr. Jeanette O’Conor,  an expert in many lifetimes in raising and supporting others to live in full consciousness.  The tools crafted and offered here are designed to push your current beliefs and paradigms, to  open your heart, and to awaken your Soul Being.

To learn more complete the contact form below:

We Walk This Path ~


Each of us journeys along a path, leading to points unknown. We have meandered, hiked, or been halted; and little have we known of the “true path” that we journey upon. Winding, weaving, stretching, extending, our path has been before and moves on, in unseen ways.

Each step- each action-each response creates new direction. In the endless weaving of our lives we come together in meaning, sharing, loving; or perhaps in anger, fear, or hate. Yet the journey brought us together to our now, to the place WE reside. As our journey unfolds, you or I may understand few of its pieces, yet the greater story of WE is untold.

WE walk this journey, WE walk this same path together. Together we meet the mountain that breaks us. Together we feel the stones thrown upon us, and together we feel the flowers beneath us. WE travel this path, and the experiences of pleasure and pain are the same for each of us; for we are together collectively. Yet we feel and believe we receive the experiences individually & differently. We each make marks upon the path, leaving our unique foot prints. Our marks are there for all, and we become the marks, the scars, the guides, that lead the way.

Every action, thought, and feeling creates a mark- a foot print upon our collective path. We lay these markers down for each other; and through this journey together, WE create the way. While we may not recognize it, but WE walk the path together collectively and individually we may place any form of marker – or foot print we choose. We may place a rough stone, a gentle flower, a weathered log, or a boulder; and in so doing this mark becomes a guide; our unique signature to guide or stop others along the way.

Our collective path does not need to be lined with rough edges, sharp stones, and rugged terrain. Our path of now is created from our collective signatures, our foot prints of life. Which signature will you place upon our path?


Maya Center:   http://www.mayaretreatcenter.com; http://www.mayactr.org

Photograph: Joanne Delabruere

The Land of Oppression, The Path of Compassion


Across the globe, the song of Spirit rises up. The song of hope, that we are setting ourselves free and truly beginning to understand who we are as a human race of consciousness.

Yet all over the world today, rights are being violated, through word, action, or subversive means. Every moment in the day someone cries out in anguish from the pain, suffering, or injustice being endured at the hand or word of another. The rights of individuals to live their truths as expressed through their sexuality or identity, are being persecuted by uneducated minds with singular focus. The rights of individuals to live freely, in expression of religion or spiritual beliefs are persecuted by those with opposing beliefs; raising threats and generating fear. The rights of individuals to live and work in communities of their choice are threatened , because the “new or different” don’t belong–they are perceived as outsiders who don’t fit within the parameters of the community model. The rights of individuals to live safely, freely, and in health, are threatened by those choosing to usurp individual rights for financial gain and power.

How can we live in this world during this time of immense upheaval, while holding on to our higher truths and our unique and individual selves? How can we continue on our journey when the road is being paved in shards of glass?

Our response must be compassion and peace.

Walking the path of peace and compassion is the highest road traveled; yet this often brings the greatest challenges. This path requires us to confront our demons. It requires us to stand before our tormentor, and to bow in reverence. It requires us to honor our oppressor, recognizing that he is no different than we are; he is merely travelling a different path. The path of peace and compassion requires us to see deeply into the eyes and soul of another, and to bow to the humanity within. This is our greatest task at hand. We are being violated, mistreated, misunderstood, and abused. Our response must come through a full and open heart filled with peace and compassion. We cannot defend ourselves and raise consciousness through violent means. We cannot ask others to understand us when we respond with equal threat or fear. We can only raise consciousness and humanity through acts of love and understanding. We must stand firm in who we are as individuals, in our spiritual and religious beliefs and practices, and in our rights to live in peace, health, and prosperity.

Honour your being, your truth, and your individuality. As you rise up, stand firm; see those who oppose you through the lense of consciousness- we are all beings of equal light.