I love my friends and family, and I am deeply grateful for their support, prayers, and kindness. However, as they show their love in their own unique ways, sometimes it comes with advice, judgement, and criticism. I know that everyone truly cares and wants to be supportive; but it comes couched in an expression of how we should be doing things differently. People feel compelled to share how we should be making other choices about our care and journey.
So, please dear family and friends, honour me by listening, as I speak from my heart about this journey; and how I see things quite differently than you.
Yes, this is one of the most arduous, painful, and deeply exhausting journeys I have embarked upon. But this is a journey I chose, and this is a journey that my parents have also chosen.
I understand and believe that we come into this world to find the magnificence of who we are, and to do so we make our life choices, and we choose our journey. I believe our lessons in life, including those most painful, are our points greatest points of transformation. While this aspect of my life’s journey may be the most arduous yet, this traumatic experience is what is cultivating my utmost transformation. We (my parents and I), are involved in the depths of our transitions and transformations. We are working through our ancient family karma, our paradigms, and our beliefs- about ourselves, our lives, our meaning and purpose, and about the greater aspects of who we are, and how we are (or not) supported through divinity. Thus, our collective karma and drama is being played out, and it is a decision we made together. We chose this so that we may move through the depths of our personal karmic hell, in order to rise to find the exquisite light, love, and divinity we share within ourselves and together as a small collective family of light.
Through the pain and anguish of this journey, I am discovering the expanse of my love and compassion, my light and soul. I am discovering the exquisite goddess within me that I have hidden for so very long. I am discovering the immense capacity that I hold to love in the depths of suffering, for myself and for others. And while I do so, I am constantly considering and discovering how I might honour myself and my parents more; how I might care for myself and them more; and how I will balance my well being and theirs in every single moment. I am holding this collective with the deepest of love, honour, and respect that I can manifest.
My balance and wellbeing comes in small moments of deep meditative chanting, taking a brief walk outside, spending time with my animals, or capturing the sunrise and sunset. My balance comes from reading the teachings of Buddha, from meditating at ridiculously early am hours, and sharing from my soul with writing to those who will listen.
So, dear friends and family, will you honour me by allowing me to dive deeply into this transformation, to love and to transform through it? Will you honour me, by respecting my decisions and choices, knowing that I have my own balance and wellbeing, and that of my parents in the forefront of my mind? Will you honour me, respect me, and love me enough to offer your love, prayers, energy, and support with the understanding that this is my journey and choice through my paradigm and belief system and not yours? I love myself enough, to allow this process to unfold, and to do so with as much love and grace as I can share. Blessings.